I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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