You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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