They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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