tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
