forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
