I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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