i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
