Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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