Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
