Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
