You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize