You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
