i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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