his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
