yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize