Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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