I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
