sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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