You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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