i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
