Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
