So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
