Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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