yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
