I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
