ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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