dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
