I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
