you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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