he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
