you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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