I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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