I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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