We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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