After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
