At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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