That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
