apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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