I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
