the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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