I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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