I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
