The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
