You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
