That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
