R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
