I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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