Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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