Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize