sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
