If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
should my penis look like a turkey
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're like the curious george of whores
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
