Buhtt sex?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
