check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
