I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize