Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
