you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
