Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
