Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
