Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
