I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
