Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
