I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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