You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
